Hinderance of Technology

A couple months ago a close friend who I know to be quite talented, intelligent and quite charming sprialed out of control. Upon further inspection as to what was going on, it was revealed to me the reason for this breakdown (which now causes frequent anxiety attacks) was because of technology. 

We as a people, especially in the 18-25 age group are so reliant on technology that it has become an intricate part of our everyday lives. People rarely visit each others houses anymore to play baseball or basketball or go to the mall to shop. Instead friendly visits are Call of Duty via Xbox live, and if there are in fact trips to the mall or some kind of social setting most people can't go 15 minutes without texting someone else, even though they are in good company. 

I don't want to say I despise this technology but sometimes it hinders our lives more than it helps them. When was the last time you wrote a letter? How long has it been since you've had an intersting conversation with someone that didn't involve you having to call an audible to answer a text. It's become so bastardly that "are you on Facebook?" is an applicable (yet still despicable) pickup line. 

While there are pros to technology, texting, sexting and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter (which are in my iPhone cache as recognized words as I write this blog) I feel as though they are taking a large part of humanistic luminescence from our lives. As an avid murderer of phones I've had to go days at a time without a phone, or updating my Facebook status or blogging and it freaked people out. Is that what we've become? Bound by the electronics in our lives, letting them define who we are? I'm down for being materialistic, but seriously, it may be the man who makes the clothes, but it's the gadget that makes the man. 

Amid The Flakes

Flakes

When some people hear the word "flake" they think about snow or dandruff, but, what about people?... It's less than amusing when someone who gives you all the attention in the world and makes you feel like you're the only person in the room when they talk to you and then completely breaks all contact with you without the slightest bit of a warning... What are you to do? Do you continue to text them at all hours of the day, completely putting aside your pride and sacrificing all you stand for just to appease and gain some amount of closure?

Is it beside you to ask for a reason as to why this vocal, emotional, sexual and electronic relationship had taken an impromptu hiatus? Of course not, but how and when do you designate is the right time to ask these questions?... Sometimes, we just have to look within ourselves to find the answer, and sometimes, that answer doesn't want to be found. That certainly doesn't mean we won't still look for it. Life will remain a puzzle...

Predicaments With Proximity

I've recently noticed how many relationships I have been involved in that were based purely and soley on proximity and superficial interests alone. I find it fairly amusing and awe inspiring the way we, as a people develop these relationships. Are we that desperate for another human's attention or so fond of conforming to the environment that surrounds us that we piece these broken bridges together to make a rickety cobble stone road of a friendship?...

I asked myself how many people I'm friends with at the moment that, if I moved and changed scenery completely would I care to keep in touch with. I surprised myself, and not in a good way. It was roughly a quarter of the people I know. Which says something because seldom is there a time I can go anywhere and someone not know me. So are my friendships headed for shambles?... Probably not.

What saves friendships and relationships in general is the reality that they are symbiotic. What is brought to the table must equal or excede what is taken away from them. If there is only upwards of take, often times there won't be a relationship in the end to salvage... Only those that you immerse yourelf in will leave you prepared for a storm.

If It's What We Want

Why is it that we bitch and moan all the time about what we want, yet... when it finally is in front of us, we sabotage the entire situation? Do we feel we aren't deserving of positive of prosperous things?

It's like the people we've begged for have finally come into our lives, they're here and tangible... the beautiful girl who takes your breath away with the wind in her hair, who's witty intellect paints a smile across your face with each multiple syllabled word she uses. How she smirks when something is amusing, yet throws her head back when something is hilarious. You notice how she rubs her palm with her thumb when she is annoyed... you notice these things, yet, when you have the chance to talk to her, and develop things, you shoot them down the drain before they've even started...

Or the guy you meet, standing there at the post office, you shy away and say how cute he is, yet you only talk to your friend about it and never do anything to change the situation. He's what you deserve, but do you say anything?... Nevermind the fact that he's giving you eyes, those are misleading right?... What is the worst that can happen? Rejection from a complete stranger, boo fucking hoo. You never have to see this person again, so get over it, and get over yourself. If you're not willing to put yourself on the line for a second, no one is going to be willing to put themselves on the line for your for the rest of his or her life.

When we believe that we don't deserve something, chances are, we won't know how to deal with it when we finally do get it so unexpectedly... how unfortunate.

Learn My Lesson - Daughtry

The Fear

I wonder how it's possible

you get under my skin

I've locked you out so many times

somehow you're still let in

advantage is what you take of me

far from the only thing

a rollercoaster of emotion

indifferent of this scene

how many times we've gone through this

ahead and then gone back

afraid to let you go for good

the balls are what I lack

no longer can I let this happen

this hold you have on me

I'm breaking free from all your magic

well, hopefully...

Lily Allen - The Fear

Welcome Back...

It's been a while since I've posted, I've cleaned up my blog and started anew. There have been so many changes in my life, thankfully, most of them have been for the better. I can't help but smile when I realize the false relationships we build with people simply because of proximity or temporary likeness. I'm grateful, that at 22 I've realized this before it was too late. I'm now surrounding myself with people who have longevity instead of those who are just around for the season.

Since this is my first blog in a while, all of my blogs will be ending with a picture and/or music lyric that defines how I'm feeling at the moment. I know music has the ability to bring people together from all walks of life...

"Now I know what empty is... I've had enough, I've had enough of this"

- Lifehouse f/Chris Daughtry

Song: Had Enough

Album: Smoke and Mirrors