Ke$ha - The Harold Song

Box Up, Ship Out

As the new year draws closer there are calendar events that feature holidays in which family, friends and people we rarely see come in and out of our lives. While this is fine and people may very well only be in our lives for a season, why not take the time to do a little winter cleanup of some friendships?...

Think of it as switching from your Winter wardrobe to your Spring collection. There are many superfluous items that you can box up and ship out. This, in the fashion of those who no longer bring you comfort, cause more upbraids than enjoyment and are more stress inducing than relaxing.

Keep those articles of clothing (people) that have brought you warmth and security through the cold time and bring them closer. Those great layers that you need that aren't too heavy, yet aren't light enough to seem unnecessary.

What this does for us is allowing us to start anew, slate unscathed and ready for the world. Why not take this new slate and open yourself up to new experiences, in the end, you'll definitely thank yourself for a job well done!

Prob-ability

Unfortunately it's been about 4 months since last I posted, in that time, SO much has happened. People have come and gone in my life like the seasons change. Which causes me to ask myself, why are so many of us what my best friend has dubbed "emotional cutters"?

We allow people into our lives that we KNOW are toxic, yet, we allow them to stay for reasons beyond our understanding. It seems to me that a warm body next to us is better than being alone so we hold on to the festering person that intensifies our sickness. Friendships are a lot like relationships, the only differing factor is the sex that's involved, sometimes there are "friends with benefits" so inherently, they ARE relationships.

In a perfect world every friendship and relationship would be 50/50, but as we all know, most of these end because one person is giving a hell of a lot more than they're receiving. So, ultimately it's up to that person to determine whether or not the relationship they're pursuing is worth the hassle that they're going through... chances are, it isn't.

Skeleton Key

'Betrothed to greatness shall I be, forever til eternity..." That's a little something I came up with after having a more than heated upbraid with a friend about a current chart topper. Flo-rida's 'Club Can't Handle Me' has been on repeat on my iPod for a couple of weeks now. The premise of the song is how he arrives at the club and becomes the epitome of party. How he can and will spend as much money, cause the largest ruckus and get the most attention doing whatever it is that he must do to have a good time. While I'm totally fine with this and can obviously relate, my counterpart on the other hand had more than an extreme aversion to such boisterous and ludicrous (not ludacris kids) behavior... Which brings me to the subject of this post, why are we so threatened by the confidence of others?

Do we see something in them that we deeply aspire to have injected into our personality consoles? Do we imagine ourselves being assembled, completely equipped and loaded with all the personality traits and materialistic qualities that we wished we possessed but only come to despise because, oh no, someone else has the pleasure of exuding such things?...

Why do women constantly berate each other and call one another whore and slut because this girl or that girl is getting more attention from the fairer sex because of her ample bossoms and ass-ets.. Should it not bode well for you that you have other ways of getting noticed, or does it bother you THAT much that you wish you were in her shoes? I've always heard that a drunk girl's actions are a sober girl's thoughts...

Or why is it that when men are amongst other men there's always a need to have a cockfight? Does my confidence overshadow you in the worst of ways so much so that you must continuously and hopelessly try to demote me, only failing at each try because, what you forget is that I'm agile, able to roll with each punch and dive from each kick.

To keep it on the simpler side of things, confidence is, and always will be key. If you don't like it... Make sure you change your locks.

What's In a Friend?

When is it that we come to a realization that the people in our lives that we call friends aren't really our friends? Is there a point when we are able to have buddies whether they be male or female and can hang out with these people without drinking, having sex with or work being the only thing that binds us?

Do we have the ability to sit down and have a regular conversation, shoot the shit, talk about current events, the progression of our lives or any other random topic that crosses our minds without that leading to something more? When you realize your friendship isn't able to handle that, what are you to do?... Delete them from your Facebook, iPhone and/or your life? Or do we have an epiphany in which we are able to weed some out and keep others?

It may behoove you to take a step outside of yourself, look at your life and your relationships and examine them. Is there anyone in your life who is superfluous? If so, they may be a spacefiller for someone who is actually of some value...

Near and Deer

Sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves about things we see coming before they roll in with a gust of bombardment. We put ourselves in situations which have consequences that render us a deer in headlights. If we glaze over details and clues about things that are continuously being foreshadowed, how do we handle them when they hit us in the face?

As a people we like to tell ourselves that we like to see the best in people but we really only see the worst, and we look at situations from angles that are unobtrusive to what they really are. We look for things for so long but rarely appreciate them when they've actually managed to come into our lives...

in short we never appreciate what we have, we only look for more, because man is never satisfied. Ain't that a kick in the head?...

Diss-Communication

It's unfortunate when we become targets for people to misconstrue. The relationships we've built should hold through rain, sleet and snow, yet sometimes the people who are closest to us and know us best have the ability to take a word, event or happenstance and turn it 180 degrees into something that it isn't. 

How do we respond to that? Should we give them the space they are subtly asking for? If we give them too much space we obviously don't care about them or the friendship. If we don't give them enough space that makes us controlling and not acknowledging that the friendship needs a break and said hurt party needs time to heal. 

As much as we like to think of ourselves as great friends, we don't always know what each of our other friends are thinking. So when there is a rift in the friendship, hopefully both parties are willing to come together and fix the problem. After all, it takes two to tango...

Hinderance of Technology

A couple months ago a close friend who I know to be quite talented, intelligent and quite charming sprialed out of control. Upon further inspection as to what was going on, it was revealed to me the reason for this breakdown (which now causes frequent anxiety attacks) was because of technology. 

We as a people, especially in the 18-25 age group are so reliant on technology that it has become an intricate part of our everyday lives. People rarely visit each others houses anymore to play baseball or basketball or go to the mall to shop. Instead friendly visits are Call of Duty via Xbox live, and if there are in fact trips to the mall or some kind of social setting most people can't go 15 minutes without texting someone else, even though they are in good company. 

I don't want to say I despise this technology but sometimes it hinders our lives more than it helps them. When was the last time you wrote a letter? How long has it been since you've had an intersting conversation with someone that didn't involve you having to call an audible to answer a text. It's become so bastardly that "are you on Facebook?" is an applicable (yet still despicable) pickup line. 

While there are pros to technology, texting, sexting and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter (which are in my iPhone cache as recognized words as I write this blog) I feel as though they are taking a large part of humanistic luminescence from our lives. As an avid murderer of phones I've had to go days at a time without a phone, or updating my Facebook status or blogging and it freaked people out. Is that what we've become? Bound by the electronics in our lives, letting them define who we are? I'm down for being materialistic, but seriously, it may be the man who makes the clothes, but it's the gadget that makes the man. 

Amid The Flakes

Flakes

When some people hear the word "flake" they think about snow or dandruff, but, what about people?... It's less than amusing when someone who gives you all the attention in the world and makes you feel like you're the only person in the room when they talk to you and then completely breaks all contact with you without the slightest bit of a warning... What are you to do? Do you continue to text them at all hours of the day, completely putting aside your pride and sacrificing all you stand for just to appease and gain some amount of closure?

Is it beside you to ask for a reason as to why this vocal, emotional, sexual and electronic relationship had taken an impromptu hiatus? Of course not, but how and when do you designate is the right time to ask these questions?... Sometimes, we just have to look within ourselves to find the answer, and sometimes, that answer doesn't want to be found. That certainly doesn't mean we won't still look for it. Life will remain a puzzle...

Predicaments With Proximity

I've recently noticed how many relationships I have been involved in that were based purely and soley on proximity and superficial interests alone. I find it fairly amusing and awe inspiring the way we, as a people develop these relationships. Are we that desperate for another human's attention or so fond of conforming to the environment that surrounds us that we piece these broken bridges together to make a rickety cobble stone road of a friendship?...

I asked myself how many people I'm friends with at the moment that, if I moved and changed scenery completely would I care to keep in touch with. I surprised myself, and not in a good way. It was roughly a quarter of the people I know. Which says something because seldom is there a time I can go anywhere and someone not know me. So are my friendships headed for shambles?... Probably not.

What saves friendships and relationships in general is the reality that they are symbiotic. What is brought to the table must equal or excede what is taken away from them. If there is only upwards of take, often times there won't be a relationship in the end to salvage... Only those that you immerse yourelf in will leave you prepared for a storm.

If It's What We Want

Why is it that we bitch and moan all the time about what we want, yet... when it finally is in front of us, we sabotage the entire situation? Do we feel we aren't deserving of positive of prosperous things?

It's like the people we've begged for have finally come into our lives, they're here and tangible... the beautiful girl who takes your breath away with the wind in her hair, who's witty intellect paints a smile across your face with each multiple syllabled word she uses. How she smirks when something is amusing, yet throws her head back when something is hilarious. You notice how she rubs her palm with her thumb when she is annoyed... you notice these things, yet, when you have the chance to talk to her, and develop things, you shoot them down the drain before they've even started...

Or the guy you meet, standing there at the post office, you shy away and say how cute he is, yet you only talk to your friend about it and never do anything to change the situation. He's what you deserve, but do you say anything?... Nevermind the fact that he's giving you eyes, those are misleading right?... What is the worst that can happen? Rejection from a complete stranger, boo fucking hoo. You never have to see this person again, so get over it, and get over yourself. If you're not willing to put yourself on the line for a second, no one is going to be willing to put themselves on the line for your for the rest of his or her life.

When we believe that we don't deserve something, chances are, we won't know how to deal with it when we finally do get it so unexpectedly... how unfortunate.

Learn My Lesson - Daughtry

The Fear

I wonder how it's possible

you get under my skin

I've locked you out so many times

somehow you're still let in

advantage is what you take of me

far from the only thing

a rollercoaster of emotion

indifferent of this scene

how many times we've gone through this

ahead and then gone back

afraid to let you go for good

the balls are what I lack

no longer can I let this happen

this hold you have on me

I'm breaking free from all your magic

well, hopefully...

Lily Allen - The Fear

Welcome Back...

It's been a while since I've posted, I've cleaned up my blog and started anew. There have been so many changes in my life, thankfully, most of them have been for the better. I can't help but smile when I realize the false relationships we build with people simply because of proximity or temporary likeness. I'm grateful, that at 22 I've realized this before it was too late. I'm now surrounding myself with people who have longevity instead of those who are just around for the season.

Since this is my first blog in a while, all of my blogs will be ending with a picture and/or music lyric that defines how I'm feeling at the moment. I know music has the ability to bring people together from all walks of life...

"Now I know what empty is... I've had enough, I've had enough of this"

- Lifehouse f/Chris Daughtry

Song: Had Enough

Album: Smoke and Mirrors