Traces

I remember footprints in the snow
as you walked away
peering in the window
hoping you'd stay
just to turn around
and show me love
love me a little
and that'd be enough
your tracks kept going
away from me
around the corner
where I couldn't see
emotions ran high
our love was low
fell in love with someone else
and I didn't know

Lasting Past

Systematic approaches
as to how my thoughts churn
hesitant to light the candle
yet I need to feel the burn
penchant for pain
in pursuit of pleasure
there is no gain
when we aren't together
feelings of haste
have come and gone
I can't help but wonder
if my heart steers me wrong
this bitter taste
I can't help but swallow
no definitive answer
if you'll be here tomorrow

Transient Lives

As we journey through life we will come to many forks in the road where we will have to choose one path or the other. Never knowing where each path will take us, we should be certain that it will lead us to a transition. Transitions through life are usually anything BUT easy, be them work, school, family or collegiate to adult life. How are you supposed to make these decisions having never been in such a predicament?

We'll never know how to live our lives until we've actually done it. While it is possible to learn from the mistakes of others, it is doubtful that you will be in the exact situation as one's counterpart. Things that I'm trying to avoid in my own transition are putting all my eggs in one basket. Living, working and partying with a significant other can bring one to a crash landing. If the relationship ends, you're now out of a comfortable place to live, work and social life to experience.

We mustn't look for harm in the beginning of a relationship, but be aware that mishaps can and will happen. We have to be prepared. Going into any situation with an optimistic view can only make the outcome a bit more positive. So before you put all your eggs in one basket, at least get a hearty omelet out of them.

Planting The Seed

These days if you aren't changing, evolving into a newer, better, more polished you, then there's something wrong. I've noticed in others and even myself that even in these past few months I've grown tremendously as a person. It makes me wonder are we consciously trying to become new people or is it just happening?... Remember the time at the end of the year right before everyone goes out and gets drunk for New Year's Eve?.. We all make these absurd New Year's Resolutions. Why do we only do that once a year? (and usually don't follow through with them) I've decided to start making monthly resolutions. Nothing huge or ridiculous like learning French or learning to play the piano, but smaller things that can actually improve my quality of life. Just at the beginning of the month and adhering to them. So here goes.

For the month of September:

1) No more red meat - this shouldn't be too hard because I rarely eat red meat besides the occasional hangover burger. Not only will this help me drop a couple lbs (not that I really need to) but it's going to make me healthier. Who knows, maybe I'll even become a vegetarian afterward.

2) Take up a new hobby - if I'm not working hard, I'm playing hard. That usually involves a few or eight tequila gimlets. By using my time more productively, my skill set will be sharpened even more than it is now.

3) Do something I've never done before - just what it says. Life is full of new experiences, have one.

Viva la Vida

I had kind of an epiphany today. Being that I'm a fresh 24, it's weird to look back at my life and analyze how much I've grown. I actually took just the last 6 months and it was a bit overwhelming to see how far I've come into adulthood. Waking up in the morning going to a job that requires a few more hours than 9-5 is very demanding. Where do I have time for a sig other?.... My frenz, or even to party?...

That's when I realized even though it's totally an oxymoron, life is legit short (even though it's the longest thing you'll ever do) it goes by VERY quickly. That's why you have to make sure you enjoy every second of it. Don't get bogged down by stupid people or meaningless happenstances. You're better than that. Live. Laugh. Love.

I love the sound the rain makes as it pitter-patters on my windowsill. The randomness of each drop closing in on the beauty of intermittent selection. Each single droplet comes together as it reaches it's final destination, blending with its droplet neighbor. Though rain may be salty and bitter, it forges on with the most bountiful of symbiotic relationships, nourishing plants, trees and other beauties of the world, never asking for anything in return. 

Pudding: Proof Not Included

It has come to my attention that some people (mainly women) feel as though not telling them EVERYTHING is considered lying or telling false truths. I completely disagree. When it comes to sleeping with your best friend and not telling you about it or accidentally pissing on your toothbrush and not bringing it up in random conversation, sure, those things warrant a screamfest of emotion from your significant other. Some things are on a need to know basis though, I'm not going to tell you what I had for lunch every day or what time I evacuated my bowels, is that keeping secrets from you?... Probably not.

What needs to happen is that there is a flow of information that needs to be established. Are you a person who wants to know the truth regardless if it hurts, or is ignorance bliss? We also need to realize that chances are, when we go snooping, digging and looking for trouble, we are going to find it. Save yourself the trouble, date someone you can trust.

Whatchu Talkin' Bout

As we actually approach what feels like spring in Wisconsin, the weather is changing along with lots of attitudes about friendships/relationships. This is the beginning where the jealousy, arguments and breakups start to happen. It is all a precursor for the summer where the clothing is sparse and the hookups are plenty. Lots of significant others are beginning to ask themselves: "Do I want want to be tied down this summer?... will I have more fun if I'm single" which spawns numerous other questions... The thing is, relationships are all about trust, on BOTH ends. You can't ask your sig other to trust you and tell you everything that they're doing if you check up on their Facebook and Foursquare updates every 20 minutes. It's just not fair. It's a give and take situation.

Friendships are also on the chopping block as the weather gets nicer and entourages get bigger. Everyone's drinking, it's a Sunday Funday... where are your friends?... Petty fights are bound to happen but the key to any successful relationship whether you're dating/friends/siblings, etc. is communication. Verbal, visual or data linked, it's your skeleton key. How are YOU connected?

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

This weekend was easily one of the best weekends I've had in my entire life. Not because I drove to Vegas, blew copious amounts of money, lost my friend who was supposed to be getting married in three days and got wasted on roofies, no, none of that, in fact, that was the plot from The Hangover. My weekend was amazing because I was surrounded by friends who are so genuine, intelligent and charismatic that you can't help but feel like you're on cloud 9 with them.

It takes a lot to get me in a shitty mood, but alas, I definitely was in one while the evening approached on Saturday night, not even Rebecca Black's Grammy winning single could bring my spirits up. It's unfortunate that sometimes it takes a shitty friend to make you realize how much you should be appreciating your stellar ones. In and of itself, I guess that's what I'm doing, taking the time to tell my friends I appreciate them.

It's the end of spring break and I'm sure tons of people who went on holiday (that's what the Brits and other foreigners call vacation... I'm totally adopting it) met some people and partied with them but will never talk to them again. I'm fortunate enough to have access to my friends whenever I want them and I truly am grateful for that. So friends, cheers to you! Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends!!!

Remember Your Roots

Everyone has heard the saying "You can never know where you're going until you understand where you came from" or some form of the saying. Conversely, you can never really know where you're going if you're stuck in where you are. As of late, I've felt completely and utterly stagnant to the point where ANY vacation would be a good one.

There are times in our lives where we just need to get away from it all, don't we owe ourselves that? Hasn't the monotony of everyday life gotten to be too much to deal with? Certainly a small break is MORE than deserved for a couple of days. Of course it is. Whether it's a spa day, a road trip, or a vacation overseas. We all need those little getaways to keep us sane. As the saying goes, all work and no play makes for a dull boy. No one likes to be dull, it's all about looking sharp and living smart!

Blog Facelift

It's not always about rejuvenation, most times it's about maintenance, however this blog DEFINITELY needed a facelift. So that's what I'm doing, reconstructing it to be able to bring you the best in everything. Keep checking in and hopefully you like what you see.

Diffusion of Responsiblity

(Please watch the video at the bottom first)

I recently came across a link that randomly came up when I searched for a different video on Youtube that completely and utterly disgusted me. It's a video that, being 1:22 in length encompasses the attack of a middle aged white male by two black female youths. In the video (which I've included a link to) he is repeatedly attacked by the two girls with dozens, maybe hundreds of people watching. Not a SINGLE person decided to protest the attack nor did they step in to help him. He CLEARLY asks how these people could just sit here and let this happen, and I couldn't believe no one stepped in to offer assistance.

It brings me to the case of Kitty Genovese who was stabbed to death outside of her home in New York in 1964. She was 100 feet from her door with thirty-eight people hearing her cries, seeing her struggle, yet no one called the police or lifted a finger to help her until well after the attack had occurred, watching her nearly lifeless body attempt to stagger to its feet. They watched, as the attack went on and until it was over.

It's what social psychologists now refer to as "diffusion of responsibility". What ignites my anger is how, as a people in society can we allow this to happen! How does NO ONE feel obligated to step in and save their fellow man? In my opinion, those people who stand around and watch someone commit a crime as grave as the aforementioned should be prosecuted as a party to that crime. In the days of Genovese, people just watched, not helplessly, because there were definite ways of helping, but in the days of Youtube where people shoot videos 1:22 long and longer without helping, yet adding commentary to each visual blow by blow, that is a DEFINITE party to a crime in my book.

It is our social DUTY to correct an injustice in front of us, KNOWINGLY allowing things like that to happen only furthers us from the humane behavior that we should be exhibiting and only diminishes our standings as superior beings to primates and other animals. There's no wonder that shows like Candid Camera and What Would You Do have been so popular, human behavior is at times peculiar, and sometimes sickening.

Ke$ha - The Harold Song

Box Up, Ship Out

As the new year draws closer there are calendar events that feature holidays in which family, friends and people we rarely see come in and out of our lives. While this is fine and people may very well only be in our lives for a season, why not take the time to do a little winter cleanup of some friendships?...

Think of it as switching from your Winter wardrobe to your Spring collection. There are many superfluous items that you can box up and ship out. This, in the fashion of those who no longer bring you comfort, cause more upbraids than enjoyment and are more stress inducing than relaxing.

Keep those articles of clothing (people) that have brought you warmth and security through the cold time and bring them closer. Those great layers that you need that aren't too heavy, yet aren't light enough to seem unnecessary.

What this does for us is allowing us to start anew, slate unscathed and ready for the world. Why not take this new slate and open yourself up to new experiences, in the end, you'll definitely thank yourself for a job well done!

Prob-ability

Unfortunately it's been about 4 months since last I posted, in that time, SO much has happened. People have come and gone in my life like the seasons change. Which causes me to ask myself, why are so many of us what my best friend has dubbed "emotional cutters"?

We allow people into our lives that we KNOW are toxic, yet, we allow them to stay for reasons beyond our understanding. It seems to me that a warm body next to us is better than being alone so we hold on to the festering person that intensifies our sickness. Friendships are a lot like relationships, the only differing factor is the sex that's involved, sometimes there are "friends with benefits" so inherently, they ARE relationships.

In a perfect world every friendship and relationship would be 50/50, but as we all know, most of these end because one person is giving a hell of a lot more than they're receiving. So, ultimately it's up to that person to determine whether or not the relationship they're pursuing is worth the hassle that they're going through... chances are, it isn't.

Skeleton Key

'Betrothed to greatness shall I be, forever til eternity..." That's a little something I came up with after having a more than heated upbraid with a friend about a current chart topper. Flo-rida's 'Club Can't Handle Me' has been on repeat on my iPod for a couple of weeks now. The premise of the song is how he arrives at the club and becomes the epitome of party. How he can and will spend as much money, cause the largest ruckus and get the most attention doing whatever it is that he must do to have a good time. While I'm totally fine with this and can obviously relate, my counterpart on the other hand had more than an extreme aversion to such boisterous and ludicrous (not ludacris kids) behavior... Which brings me to the subject of this post, why are we so threatened by the confidence of others?

Do we see something in them that we deeply aspire to have injected into our personality consoles? Do we imagine ourselves being assembled, completely equipped and loaded with all the personality traits and materialistic qualities that we wished we possessed but only come to despise because, oh no, someone else has the pleasure of exuding such things?...

Why do women constantly berate each other and call one another whore and slut because this girl or that girl is getting more attention from the fairer sex because of her ample bossoms and ass-ets.. Should it not bode well for you that you have other ways of getting noticed, or does it bother you THAT much that you wish you were in her shoes? I've always heard that a drunk girl's actions are a sober girl's thoughts...

Or why is it that when men are amongst other men there's always a need to have a cockfight? Does my confidence overshadow you in the worst of ways so much so that you must continuously and hopelessly try to demote me, only failing at each try because, what you forget is that I'm agile, able to roll with each punch and dive from each kick.

To keep it on the simpler side of things, confidence is, and always will be key. If you don't like it... Make sure you change your locks.

What's In a Friend?

When is it that we come to a realization that the people in our lives that we call friends aren't really our friends? Is there a point when we are able to have buddies whether they be male or female and can hang out with these people without drinking, having sex with or work being the only thing that binds us?

Do we have the ability to sit down and have a regular conversation, shoot the shit, talk about current events, the progression of our lives or any other random topic that crosses our minds without that leading to something more? When you realize your friendship isn't able to handle that, what are you to do?... Delete them from your Facebook, iPhone and/or your life? Or do we have an epiphany in which we are able to weed some out and keep others?

It may behoove you to take a step outside of yourself, look at your life and your relationships and examine them. Is there anyone in your life who is superfluous? If so, they may be a spacefiller for someone who is actually of some value...

Near and Deer

Sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves about things we see coming before they roll in with a gust of bombardment. We put ourselves in situations which have consequences that render us a deer in headlights. If we glaze over details and clues about things that are continuously being foreshadowed, how do we handle them when they hit us in the face?

As a people we like to tell ourselves that we like to see the best in people but we really only see the worst, and we look at situations from angles that are unobtrusive to what they really are. We look for things for so long but rarely appreciate them when they've actually managed to come into our lives...

in short we never appreciate what we have, we only look for more, because man is never satisfied. Ain't that a kick in the head?...

Diss-Communication

It's unfortunate when we become targets for people to misconstrue. The relationships we've built should hold through rain, sleet and snow, yet sometimes the people who are closest to us and know us best have the ability to take a word, event or happenstance and turn it 180 degrees into something that it isn't. 

How do we respond to that? Should we give them the space they are subtly asking for? If we give them too much space we obviously don't care about them or the friendship. If we don't give them enough space that makes us controlling and not acknowledging that the friendship needs a break and said hurt party needs time to heal. 

As much as we like to think of ourselves as great friends, we don't always know what each of our other friends are thinking. So when there is a rift in the friendship, hopefully both parties are willing to come together and fix the problem. After all, it takes two to tango...

Hinderance of Technology

A couple months ago a close friend who I know to be quite talented, intelligent and quite charming sprialed out of control. Upon further inspection as to what was going on, it was revealed to me the reason for this breakdown (which now causes frequent anxiety attacks) was because of technology. 

We as a people, especially in the 18-25 age group are so reliant on technology that it has become an intricate part of our everyday lives. People rarely visit each others houses anymore to play baseball or basketball or go to the mall to shop. Instead friendly visits are Call of Duty via Xbox live, and if there are in fact trips to the mall or some kind of social setting most people can't go 15 minutes without texting someone else, even though they are in good company. 

I don't want to say I despise this technology but sometimes it hinders our lives more than it helps them. When was the last time you wrote a letter? How long has it been since you've had an intersting conversation with someone that didn't involve you having to call an audible to answer a text. It's become so bastardly that "are you on Facebook?" is an applicable (yet still despicable) pickup line. 

While there are pros to technology, texting, sexting and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter (which are in my iPhone cache as recognized words as I write this blog) I feel as though they are taking a large part of humanistic luminescence from our lives. As an avid murderer of phones I've had to go days at a time without a phone, or updating my Facebook status or blogging and it freaked people out. Is that what we've become? Bound by the electronics in our lives, letting them define who we are? I'm down for being materialistic, but seriously, it may be the man who makes the clothes, but it's the gadget that makes the man.